| .... |
[05 Jul 2009|11:04pm] |
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Go away Cager! :P
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| Chris Benoit... |
[26 Jun 2007|11:10pm] |
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06/25/07
I don't normally write in a journal, but after keeping my thoughts about the whole Benoit tragedy to myself for over 24 hours, this seems like the thing to do. I mean, I have shared some of my feelings with my mother, but she doesn't watch wrestling. To her, it's just some random person. She keeps telling me to stop worrying about it because I "don't even know these people." And it's true. But it still bothers me beyond belief. I couldn't sleep last night, and today it's all I can think about. If I had of had to work today, I would have called in sick. Because it wouldn't even be lying. I feel sick to my stomach.
I recently had the pleasure of watching Benoit and Matt Hardy wrestle MVP and the Miz when Smackdown and ECW came to London, Ontario. I remember sitting in the fifth row, chanting "Let's go Benoit!" That match turned me into a Benoit fan. Now, exactly four weeks later, I sit here, conflicted. What Chris Benoit did doesn't change the fact that I had a great time watching him and Matt Hardy kick ass in the ring, does it? Of course not. But what he did sure does change a lot. Part of me still doesn't want to believe it, but I know that would be foolish. I allowed myself plenty of time to think "Well... maybe..." and hypothesize about other scenarios, ones which would still be devastating, but would maybe still allow fans to remember Chris as the great wrestler he was. I guess it was that press conference, where all the facts were officially stated, that made me realize that I couldn't deny it anymore. I then realized that I need to stop denying it, and try to accept that that's the way it is. So I guess this is just part of going through that.
I've always been a curious person, and I guess that's one of the many reasons this is bothering me so much. I want to know why. Why would he do this? But we will never know. I was hoping that these "curious text messages" would reveal something, but even as I've been writing this, I've been checking everywhere for updates, and what was said in these text messages was finally released by WWE.com. And that sure as hell didn't help to clear things up! It just makes me even more curious. What was he thinking? What did he mean by these messages? I hate the fact that we will never know.
I don't know how to feel about him. Yes, he was a great wrestler. But should we still praise him for that, even though he committed such a horrible act? I agree with what the WWE is doing... to an extent. I'm glad that the tribute show was aired. I guess I still think he deserved it. And so did his fellow wrestlers. I mean, watching Adam (Edge) speak about Benoit... it was heartbreaking. But you could tell he needed to do it. So I'm glad that the show was aired. And I completely understand why they would feel the need to take down the tribute videos, and the merchandise. There's going to be enough controversy about the WWE from all of this, and to leave those things there may feel to some people like the WWE is condoning what Benoit did. But one thing I don't understand? Why they would change the description for the Wrestlemania XX dvd to "Triple H defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Shawn Michaels." Hello... Benoit is still in the match! He still wins the match. What are they gonna do, just blur him out like they do the WWF logo? Somehow, I don't think that will work. I understand that they want to make sure people know they are not condoning his actions. But this is going a little too far. Chris Benoit entertained his fans. Period. Nothing can change that.
I know that we will never find out exactly what caused him to do this. Part of me will always be a little curious, just like I am with Kurt Cobain's suicide. But in time, everything will just fade away to the background. Just like it always does. And no matter what, the show will go on.
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[20 Feb 2007|11:31pm] |
I just wanna cry.
How can I have such a great day and then be feeling like this?
Why am I such a failure?
Can't wait til next Wednesday. Brody's B-day party! What should I give him for his birthday? *sigh*
Almost got high today. Why am I so disappointed that I didn't?
Randomness over. Going to bed.
*sigh* I wish I could understand myself.
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| Trust... |
[22 Aug 2006|11:39pm] |
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I know I am over emotional and all, but I just can't help it. I'm sitting here, bawling my eyes out, and I can't stop.
I had five people here last night. Some I knew better than others, but I got along with all of them quite well, or so I thought.
I've always had an issue with trust. So many people have hurt me in the past, that it is hard for me to trust people. As a result, I rarely make new friends. And now, just when I thought I was beginning to trust two people, this happens. These two people were the only ones who were supposed to come over last night, and they brought three people with them. My mistake? I trusted them, and let everyone come in. Today, I find out one of them stole $30 from my mom's purse. Now I have to give my mom $30, but whatever, it's only $30. But I trusted these people. That's what fucking hurts. I don't know who it was, but in a way, I hold one person responsible. She is the one who thought it was a good idea for these people to be in my house. And she didn't seem to give a shit when I told her what happened. Fucking good friend, eh? And as far as I can remember, she was the only one around my mom's purse when I wasn't there. I could be wrong about that, and I hope I am...
There is exactly one person in this entire world who I completely trust, and I don't think that is going to change anytime soon.
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| Wow... so true |
[01 Aug 2006|08:38pm] |
| Your Rising Sign is Virgo | 
Well put-together and elegant, you sometimes seem standoffish.
And truth be told, sometimes you do feel superior to those around you.
A bit shy and introverted, you tend to stay quiet - even if you're feeling social.
At parties, you can seem like you're very serious while you're having fun.
You clever and ingenious, with an alert and active mind.
Good at facts and figures, you excel at logical and mathematical tasks. |
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[29 Jul 2006|05:00pm] |
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| Long meme |
[09 Jul 2006|02:10am] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. |
× I don't watch much TV these days. |
× I own lots of books. (I don't anymore, but I used to when I was a kid) |
| ✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Sometimes...) |
✓ I love to play video games. |
× I've tried marijuana. |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( More... )
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[23 Apr 2006|11:16pm] |
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So... an update. Not like I have any friends on here to read this thing, but that's beside the point.
My life lately has consisted of:
1. Poker
2. Icon making
3. Poker
4. Procrastinating
5. Icon making
6. Studying
7. Poker
Pathetic, I know. But it will all be worth it when I'm a professional poker player and making soooo much money. Well, I don't really care about the money (too much ;)) but, playing poker for a living, would be amazing. Not that it will ever happen, but a girl can dream!
So yeah, I haven't posted in this thing in over a year, and two paragraphs and a list later, it's all up to date.
Better get back to playing poker! JK actually, I should probably study for my exam which is tomorrow. Last exam, then I'm done for the summer! And I'm never coming back to McMaster... I think I'm going to Lambton or Fanshawe!
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[23 Apr 2006|09:11pm] |
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I totally just got an awesome BJ mood theme! YAY!
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| My day |
[17 Mar 2005|06:41pm] |
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Today I went to McMaster University in Hamilton for a tour. That is where I plan on going to university next year.
It looks pretty nice. Better than I thought, I suppose. Our tour guide was very friendly.
One thing she said kinda scares me though - she said we will have about 25 hours of class per week (which is about what we have in high school) but for every hour of class, we should have about THREE hours of homework! Is that crazy or what?!?
You know, I've been feeling unusually happy lately! I've noticed myself singing a lot, which is something I never used to do. I don't know why I'm so happy, but I'm not gonna complain!
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| Nothing much is new |
[16 Mar 2005|10:20pm] |
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So, I went to Port Stanley again today, but it wasn't nearly as beautiful as it was last time. Most of the lake isn't frozen anymore, and the stuff that is frozen is covered by dirty snow. Ick.
Tomorrow I am going to see McMaster University - hopefully that is where I am going next year. It's gonna be weird.
I had fun with Matt and Ian yesterday - I hope I didn't bore them though. We didn't really do much, but I enjoyed just chatting about random things.
I suppose that is all I have to say for now...
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| Procrastinating |
[14 Mar 2005|03:17pm] |
Yeah, so right now I should be cleaning my room, but I don't wanna. My mom said that if I want to have my friends over tomorrow, my room has to be cleaned. Grrrr....
I'm going to go insane over march break. Normally I enjoy having some time off, but it really sucks that my mom is home. I can't just chill and do nothing, she makes me do something.
Again, I have nothing to write, so here's random fact number two: When I was a kid, anytime I went anywhere special (or even not so special), I would find a pretty rock and add it to my collection. I wish I still did that.
That reminds me of this time a month or so ago, I believe it was February 2nd... Me and my mom decided to take a random trip to Port Stanley. We were just bored, and decided to go for a drive... we knew none of the stores around there would be open, and it was definately much too cold to go swimming, but we went anyways.
When we got there, we were just going to drive around the circle thing and head home... but when we saw the lake, we decided to go for a walk on the beach. It was incredible... the water was all frozen, but not just flat... it was like the waves froze in mid-air! I wish I'd had a camera. It was beautiful... so I went out and walked on it a bit. Unfortunately, it was cold, so we headed back to the car, but on the way back, a rock caught my eye and I picked it up. Now, I have the rock sitting on my dresser, and everytime I see it, I remember the great time I had that day.
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| Forgot about this again... |
[13 Mar 2005|11:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Bored and Tired |
] |
I keep forgeting about this thing, but it actually has some decent entries in it. I am going to try to write in here more often.
I am having Matt and (hopefully) Ian over on Tuesday. I am looking forward to it. I am getting very bored already. I actually started cleaning my room today, which is something I never do.
Yeah, my life is very boring lately. I don't really have anything to say, but I thought I should write something here. I should attempt to write something interesting though... hmmmm...
Okay, random fact about me: I still sleep with the blanket I've had since I was about 5 because I find it much easier to get to sleep when I am using it.
Well, not really sure if that was interesting or not... but it was something. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to write at some point, but right now, I'm going to bed. ZzzZzzZzzZzz...
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[05 Dec 2004|10:30pm] |
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Sigh... these last couple days have been rough. I think its been about two weeks or more since I talked to my friend Chris. I really miss him. Not in the physical sense, because I've seen him almost every day, but we're kinda fighting right now. Or I think that's what's happening at least, but I'm not sure. I didn't realise I did anything wrong.
If he's upset with me, he should talk to me. I'm not a freaking mind reader! I love him, and I don't want to lose him, but what can I do? It didn't seem like he wanted anything to do with me until I stopped hanging out with him so much, and it still doesn't. Now he's completely ignoring me. If it weren't for Laurel, I'd have no clue he even cared about being friends with me. She talked to him on MSN and told me some stuff, but she wasn't supposed to tell me. So now what do I do? If I talk to him, it will be really hard to pretend like I don't know anything.
I wish he would just talk to me! Maybe we could finally get things fixed. But I'm not even sure if I want to... It's so hard because I really like him, but I am pretty sure he would never like me back. Plus there's also the fact that he is an extremely religious Christian... Uh oh.
I'm cranky. Plus I'm sick... sore throat, cough, fever, headache... all that fun stuff. :(
Gonna go now. I'd like to go to sleep, but I'm not gonna press my luck.
Love Always,
Miss Miserable
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[29 Nov 2004|09:56pm] |
ABOUT ME
Your full name:: Laura Elizabeth Wilson
Age:: 17
Height:: 5'3" ish
Natural hair color:: brown
Eye color:: blue... i think
Number of siblings:: 0! yay!
Glasses/contacts?:: glasses
Piercing:: nope
Tattoos:: nope
Braces?:: had them for a while, so glad they're gone now!
FAVORITE
Color:: black and red
Band:: too many...
Song:: also too many.
Stuffed animal:: my big white fluffy teddy bear... *cuddles*
Video game:: tony hawk
TV show:: That 70's Show
Movie:: don't like a lot of movies, but fav would be The School of Rock
Book:: 1984 by George Orwell
Food:: cheese
Game on a cell phone: my cell phone doesn't do games
CD cover:: I dunno
Flower:: rose
Scent:: vanilla
Animal:: kitty cats!
Comic book:: ick
Cereal:: Honey Nut Cheerios
Website:: NEOPETS!
Cartoon:: meh
DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: yeah, a bunch of them
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: definately not
Like to sing?:: ick, no, I can't stand the sound of my own voice
Have a job?:: nope!
Have a cell phone?:: yep, never use it though
Like to play sports?: no
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: no :(
Have a crush on someone?:: of course
Live somewhere NOT in Canada?:: nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: nope, there's 3
Have any special talents/skills?:: not really
Exercise daily?:: no
Like school?:: sometimes
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: hmmm... Z, X, Y... wow, I screwed up already
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: ouch
Speak any other languages?:: a bit of french...
Go a day without food?:: probably not
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: yeah, if i wanted to
Read music, not just tabs?:: yep
Roll your tongue?:: no
Eat a whole pizza?:: nope
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: no
Cried to get out of trouble?:: all the time... hehehe
Gotten lost in your city?:: city... this place is NOT a city...
Seen a shooting star?:: no
Been to any other countries besides canada?:: yeah the U.S. of A.
Had a serious surgery?:: no
Stolen something important to someone else?:: don't think so
Solved a Rubik??s cube?:: GAH! those things tick me off... but I'm working on it..
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: sure
cried over a girl?:: no
Cried over a boy?:: yeah
Kissed a random stranger?:: no
Hugged a random stranger?:: strangers scare me
Been in a fist fight?:: nope
Been arrested?:: no
Had alcohol?:: well duh! who hasn't?
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: no, but my friend made bran flakes come out her nose... talk about GROSS!
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: no
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: no
Swore at your parents?:: no
Been to warped tour: yep! fun times!
whacked a guy where it hurts?:: no. I'm too nice
been in love?:: no
Been close to love?:: I dunno
Been to a casino?:: no
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: no
broken a bone?:: no
Gotten stitches?:: no
a waterballoon fight in winter?:: no, but it sounds fun!
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: ewwww, milk...
made homemade muffins?:: yeah... they didn't turn out so well
Bitten someone?:: yep
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: yeah, the one in florida
More than 5 times?:: no
been to niagra falls?:: a ton of times! soooo much fun... yum, sno-cones!
Burped in someones face?:: no
Gotten the chicken pox?:: yeah, when I was 6
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: this morning
Went to the bathroom:: ummm, a couple hours ago?
Saw a movie in theaters:: hmm... so long ago I can't remember :(
Read a book:: I'm always reading
Had a snow day:: last winter
Had a party:: long time ago... that needs to be fixed
Had a slumber party:: also a long time ago and needs to be fixed
Made fun of someone:: I dunno
Went to the grocery store:: long time ago...
Got sick:: i have a cold right now... does that count?
Cursed:: recently
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: fruit
Black/white:: black
lights on/lights off:: off
TV/movie:: tv
Car/truck:: car
Body spray/lotion:: spray
Cash/check:: cash
Pillows/blankets:: pillows... nice and comfy
Headache/stomach ache:: neither...
Paint/charcoal:: paint
Summer/winter: neither, but if I had to pick, winter cuz it's pretty
Snow/rain:: rain, I love rain
Fog/misty:: fog
Rock/rap:: rock, rap is gross
Meat/vegetarian:: meat
Boy/girl:: boys
Chinese food/Mexican food : neither
Chocolate/vanilla: vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: icing
Cake/pie:: cake
French toast/french fries:: either
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: pool
Hugs/kisses:: both!
Cookies/muffins:: cookies
p33n/bewbz:: what?
Wallet/pocket:: pocket
Window/door:: window
Emo/goth:: emo-ish goth...
Pink/purple:: neither
Cat/dog:: cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: depends on the weather
Pants/shorts:: pants
Winter break/spring break:: both
Spring/autumn:: autumn
Clouds/clear sky:: clear sky
Moon/mars:: moon
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: i don't have any friends :(
What are their names?:: see above
Do you have a best friend?:: Laurel
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: i don't have any friends
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: girls
Have you ever lost a friend?:: i dunno
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: yup
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: can't think of any at the moment
Have you ever gotten in a big argument with a friend?:: yeah
Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: i don't do nice things
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: awww...
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: not really
What friend have you known the longest?:: Karen
Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?:: yeah
If so, what is it?:: too much to list
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: Laurel - practically 24/7, everyone else - not enough
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: no
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: i dunno
What do you think your friends think of you?:: hopefully, nice things
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: no
If you have, with who?:: no
Are you single?:: yes
Are you in a relationship?:: no
If so, for how long?:: no
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: there are lots of people for everyone
What is your idea of the best date?:: anything, it all depends on the person you're with
What was your first kiss like?:: well... odd
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:: 13
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: no
Whats the best experience youve ever had with the opposite sex?:: i don't know
Have you ever been dumped?:: no
Have you ever dumped someone?:: no
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: feet
Hat:: head
Hard:: Calculus
Free:: money
Space:: empty
Taste:: sweet
Good charlotte:: yuck
Red:: blood
Deep:: ocean
Heart:: love
Cord:: string
Cheese:: please
Rain:: happy
Work:: school
Pedal:: bike
Head:: toe
Bed:: sleepy
Fluff:: marshmallow
Hardcore:: music
Race:: run
Knife:: sharp
Jump:: rope
I....
am:: tired.
want:: someone.
need:: oxygen, food, and water.
crave:: cookies.
love:: my friends.
hate:: everything.
did:: my stupid Data Management project this weekend!
feel:: sleepy
miss:: my dad.
am annoyed by:: everything.
would rather:: sleeping.
am tired of:: being tired
will always:: be myself.
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: punk.
What time is it now?: 9:40pm
What day is it?:: Monday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: the telephone scares me (honestly)
How much money do you have right now?:: some pennies, nickels and dimes
Are you hungry?:: no
Whatcha doin?:: this massive survey
Do you like parades?:: sometimes
Do you like the moon?:: of course
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: go to bed
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: I dunno.
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: I wanna fly.
Have you ever had a picnic?:: nope. I should sometime.
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: yeah. I was a spoiled brat.
What about sock em boppers?:: no
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: yeah. they're pink and black "Happy Bunny" socks that say "Your anger makes me happy"
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: occasionally
pretty?:: no
sarcastic?:: always
lazy?:: yeah
hyper?:: sometimes
friendly?:: yeah
evil?:: I can be
smart?:: occasionally
strong?:: no
talented?:: no
dorky?:: of course!
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: meh
love:: for
drunk drivers:: against... duh
airplanes:: for
war:: against
canada:: for
united states:: against
rock music:: for
gay marriage:: for
school:: for
surveys:: for
parents:: for
cars:: for, I don't wanna drive one though
killing:: against
britney spears:: against
coffee:: against
pants:: for
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: probably not
Play strip poker?:: no
Run away?:: probably not
Curse at a teacher?:: probably not
Not take a shower for a week?:: no
Ask someone out?:: probably not
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: depends on who
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: depends on the country and who's coming with me
Go scuba diving?:: probably not
Write a book?:: no
Become a rockstar?:: yeah
Have casual sex?:: no
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: whatever's in the shower
When ?s the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex:: long time ago
What kind of computer do you have?:: a nice laptop
many posters do you have in your room?:: a bunch
many cds do you have?:: a bunch
What time is it now?:: 9:51 pm
Wow. I cannot believe I just filled in this whole thing. I bet no one even reads it all!
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[29 Nov 2004|08:29pm] |
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So, whats new? Not too much here! My feet are chilly. Wow, I'm really running out if things to say. I handed in that stupid Data Management project today. It's horribly awful, but meh.
I should really figure out where I want to go to university. Applications are due on January 12th. That's freaking soon! Honestly, I'm quite terrified. Not about getting in, but about going... I don't want to leave all my friends and family. I am gonna miss everyone, and I'm so afraid that I'm not going to see any of my friends after this year.
I know, bitch, bitch, bitch... I always complain about everyone's bitching, but the fact is, no one is going to read this, so IT DOESN'T MATTER!
Hehehe... more Manson... "Be obscene, be be obscene. Be obscene BABY and not heard!"
I am odd. Talk about mood swings. Hehehe.... I don't not like double negatives. It's not not fun confusing people with them...
Gah. Sleepy time now.... I wish....
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[29 Nov 2004|05:19pm] |
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I'm so tired.
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[28 Nov 2004|03:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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moody |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Marilyn Manson - This is the New Shit |
] |
Wow. I must be really bored. I'm back here already. I got sick of watching Much Loud, so I'm listening to some Manson. I've been totally Marilyn Manson obsessed lately. *sings* Babble Babble, Bitch Bitch, Rebel Rebel, Party Party, Sex Sex Sex and don't forget the VIOLENCE! *sings*
GAH! I hate being bored! Anybody out there? Talk to me... Hey! You there! I see you... Don't be shy... I won't bite... Unless you're into that kind of thing... *grins*
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